The first time my parents decided to adopt was on a beach. A friend was telling them about a little boy she works with that no one wants. Without missing a beat my mom said, “We’ll take him.” And they did.
Sure, there were things to do, classes to take, visits and paperwork (so much paperwork). But the first step was what mattered most. They were willing. They were willing to open their hearts wider and do more of what they do best: love.
My parents have adopted five kids over the last 12 years. And perhaps you should know that not all the adoptions have been easy. There were social work visits and court dates. Waiting for parental right termination and ensuring everything was ready. It took work and time.
Just like parenting.
My mom and dad are parents. That’s what they do. They parent. Instead of the two kids they had, they parent seven kids.
Adopting Kids with Special Needs
The five kids they adopted all have special needs. I could give you the list of diagnoses but it really doesn’t matter. Their needs mean more appointments, more accommodations and more sleepless nights. But those things are no different than if you give birth to a baby with special needs.
You show up. You do the work. You parent.
When people see what they do daily they look at my parents like a living museum exhibit, claiming they are amazing. In many ways they are. Adoption is not what made them amazing; good parenting and loving completely is what makes them amazing.
They will be the first to tell you they are not anything special, they are ordinary just like you and me. They just love big. They treat each of my brothers and sisters like me and my other brother who were born of my mother’s womb. They are not superheroes, they are just parents, walking through life, loving big and full on the easy days and the hard days. It sounds so simple, but we all know parenthood is anything but simple.
It’s easy to keep the idea of adoption on a pedestal, to think it is reserved for people with special skills. Adoption is special but it is not unreachable. It takes real, everyday people.
Nationally there are nearly 400,000 kids in foster care with 114,000 of those kids ready to be adopted. Every one of these kids needs someone who will say yes.
National Adoption Awareness Month
November is National Adoption Awareness Month, with the Sunday before Thanksgiving providing a special day to highlight the importance of adoption. With approximately 1 in 50 kids in the United States is adopted and 6 in 10 people having a personal experience with adoption in their family or social circle it is clear that adoption is not just for a small group of people with a superhuman skillset. We need more than that.
Adoption is special. It is beautiful and hard and will require more of you than you know, but that’s parenting. We can recognize the beauty of adoption without making it seem unattainable for everyday people.
Maybe you don’t feel like adopting is part of your parenting journey. But it is part of our world. We can learn how to help families connected to adoption, we can take away the stigmas of adoption in the way we interact and talk about it, and we can stop distancing ourselves from what seems different and remember that adoption is simply parenting.
Kids waiting to be adopted don’t need superheroes. They need people willing to say yes. People who are willing to open their heart and their home to love and parent well.
This month may we all think about how we can directly help the children waiting for someone to say yes.
Rebecca traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passionate about authenticity, faith and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places or wherever there is chocolate.
ADOPTION RESOURCES
- AdoptUSKids (a national project that supports child welfare systems and connects children in foster care with families; educates families on foster care and adoption guidelines by state) adoptuskids.org/
- Adoption Network (including resources by state) adoptionnetwork.com/
- DC Metropolitan Foster and Adoptive Parent Association (DCMFAPA) (nonprofit membership organization dedicated to bringing together all foster, adoptive and kinship parents, as well as other interested individuals, to provide support, advocacy, resources, and training to empower parents and their children) dcmfapa.org/
- National Council for Adoption (including resources for pre-adoptive parents, adoptive parents, birth parents & adopted persons) adoptioncouncil.org/
- National Foster Care & Adoption Directory Search (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services) childwelfare.gov/nfcad/
- Rainbow Families (nonprofit dedicated to the support, empowerment and education of LGBTQ+ families, prospective parents and allies; includes support group for LGBTQ+ prospective parents going through the adoption process) rainbowfamilies.org
Rebecca traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passionate about authenticity, faith and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places or wherever there is chocolate.
